One Hard Pill to Swallow.

When my doctor prescribed me a pill to stop my lactation while still in the hospital, I was relieved. I was relieved that I wouldn’t have to go through the pain of expressing milk with no baby to feed. My husband picked up the prescription the next morning, but I let the pill bottle sit to the side for hours. When my doctor came in to check on me, I admitted to her that I had not taken it yet. She recognized the difficulty behind taking it, but reminded me that I needed to sooner rather than later in order for it to actually take effect. The seemingly simple act of taking a single pill wasn’t so simple at all. It was yet again another representation of the future I expected being taken away from me. Sitting with my husband, I got a bottle of water, took the pill in my hand, and threw it back. I tried to say to myself "just like ripping off a Band-Aid, right?" Not quite. It was the hardest pill I’ve ever had to swallow; both literally and figuratively. On the bright side, it did work. The difficulty of taking that pill certainly did not compare to how difficult it would have been if my milk continued to come in.

When I was in the hospital it was not presented to me as an option, but through my own research I discovered that there are opportunities to donate your breastmilk. Though I was not aware of this option when I stopped my lactation, I don’t know if I would have had the strength to choose this for myself -- but then again I didn't even know that I had the choice! Some may find healing through this opportunity, as it can greatly benefit babies in need. Read more at the Rogers Hixon Ontario Human Milk Bank: https://www.milkbankontario.ca/.