Breaking the Three-Month-Wait Rule

Why is it that we wait for three months before telling our friends and family that we’re pregnant? Since the chances of losing a baby within the first trimester of pregnancy are significantly higher (about 80% higher in the first 13 weeks, according to Medical News Today), it is often recommended to not share our happy news until we are “in the clear” or at least closer to it. BUT, if the worst were to happen, wouldn’t you want those closest to you to know?

Like many others, my first trimester of pregnancy was pretty unpleasant, to put it nicely. Other than the initial excitement of actually finding out that we were pregnant, the experience was less than enjoyable. I had an awful encounter with getting my initial bloodwork done (cold sweats, feeling faint, dry heaving), I caught a horrible gastric bug, I suffered daily nausea that I needed to take medication for, and my hormonal emotions were in overdrive. Yet, I didn’t share or confide in anyone other than my husband and mom. But why? Well, because of having that three month rule ingrained in my head. While I could have been using the support of my best friends and closest family members, I just stayed silent. When in reality, if we were to have lost our baby during that time, we would have told them anyway!

I am not suggesting for anyone to inform their employer, or to post on social media to every acquaintance they know as soon as they find out that they are expecting. I am just suggesting to at least consider opening up to those who you would share both your joys AND your grievances with. Accept the support that you could so greatly use during that time, or that you would need after a miscarriage. And if you aren’t ready to share, that is your choice! Many people who experience miscarriages choose not to share their heartbreak, and that is OK if that is really what they need to personally heal. However, I think that by sharing you can potentially be opening a door to a community of people who are ready to help you heal or who could even benefit from hearing your story to help themselves heal from similar experiences. There is no reason to suffer in silence. Let’s break the stigma. Let’s break the three month rule.

Resources: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/322634#:~:text=Around%2080%25%20of%20pregnancy%20losses,have%20survived%20outside%20the%20womb.